There’s a modern scourge upon us, and every get-together, plan, and social event is vulnerable.
I don’t know when it started, who’s to blame, or if it can be defeated, but I’ve begun vaccinating myself against it. And if you or your social circle have caught a case of the Maybes, or you want to prevent an outbreak, here’s what you can do.
The first step with any epidemic is understanding the problem: What is the Maybes, how does it spread, and why is it harmful?Continue reading → “Breaking the Chain of “Maybe””
I haven’t meditated in over a week.
I’ve become increasingly aware of this every day that passes. It’s become so big in my day, that, right now, Not Meditating feels like all I’ve accomplished.
And yet, here I am writing this instead of doing the damn thing. What is wrong with me?
I know that I’ll appreciate my time sitting — both while it’s happening (even if I know it’ll be more fitful than usual) and after. It’ll give my day more focus, give me a breath between the world and my reactions to it, and I’ll feel happier, healthier, calmer, and whole-er.
The benefits of meditating, when I haven’t been, are always more obvious to me in the negative: the list of things I’ve been doing, thinking, eating, etc. that were not mindful, but were instead short-sighted comforts that led to longer-term pains. The things I wouldn’t be doing if I had been meditating.
And my recent memory is full of such things. My body and mind are weighed down with their aftermath.
Yet here I am, still Not Meditating.
I know that all that’s standing between me getting back on that path or me continuing to flounder is a few minutes on the cushion. I’ve known that every day.
And yet I didn’t. I still haven’t.
So what’s getting in my way? If you’ve ever experienced this — or currently are — what’s getting in our way?Continue reading → “Falling Off the Daily Meditation Path”
I’m really thrilled about this. As a poor person who creates tons of websites that have a ton of traffic but are totally free and make negative dollars, I feel like I’ve found the Holy Grail. But before I get into the details, two quick things:
One, none of the following links are affiliates/sponsored (I don’t abide that sort of thing here).
Two, this path isn’t for everyone, but I’m going to lay it out for those of you who want to walk it.
Just wanted to get that out of the way, because I know that the excitement that’s bubbling out of me might be misread as a sales pitch or proselytizing. It’s not.
We good? Good. Omg. Can I tell you how excited I am?!Continue reading → “How I Made A WordPress Site with a 100 Score on Google Pagespeed Insights”
I have a confession to make: I’m an Overthinker.
I think I’ve always been this way, but my condition has worsened with age. And my chosen profession didn’t help.
I overthink as a matter of work, often. And I always overthink my work. Not just the things I make themselves, but how to describe what I do, and what unites it all.
Lately, I’ve come to think that the best way to describe my job is “overthinking everything so you don’t have to.” That’s no surprise, I’m sure, if you’ve popped around this site, or read my books, or seen anything else I’ve made.
But, ironically, I’m also driven, fundamentally, to empower people to not need me, via my work. I always endeavor to remove myself from the picture. Making myself irrelevant is one of my primary goals in everything I make, and it’s often the question that leads to the improvements or further work: “How can I create something that is freely available to prevent a person from needing to hire me to do it?”
That’s why, for example, I released my copyright on my work back in 2013: I didn’t want people to have to keep asking me to use it, license it, or reprint it. I removed myself from the middle.
So this creates a bit of a conundrum. No surprise: me finding a conundrum. That’s Overthinking 101.
Recently, I’ve been [over-]thinking about that conundrum a lot. And I’ve felt a growing urge to reconcile it, which brings us here. To the how-to I never suspected I would write: A list of ways that I overthink everything, for those of you who want to DIY (OIY?).
Following is the process I generally follow as I overthink everything in my life and work.
I apply it to everything I create, to the social justice and human rights advocacy I engage in, to how I organize and operate on a “business” level, and even to how I do things in my “personal” life (relationships, puppy training, cooking, etc.).
This is the not-so-secret sauce.
But I suggest you proceed with caution. Overthinking is addictive. I wonder why that is.Continue reading → “Overthinking Everything So You Don’t Have To”
Policing Voting vs. Nuance
You can complain about politics if you don’t vote.
You’re not a bad human if you don’t vote.
You can still be my friend if you don’t vote.
And voting is an exceptional way to complain.
And it’s a perfect way to stake a claim in your humanity.
And it’s a wonderful way to show up for your friends.
Mistakes don’t guarantee learning, but learning requires mistakes.
Be the wind, or risk becoming the sail.
I got thrown into this. Two-fold.
I got thrown into the work I’ve been doing. And I got thrown into a situation that’s led me to question everything, rethink and restructure, and make decisions that feel like an overall “brand.”
While I’m happy I’m here, one of the strongest forces that’s guiding what I do next is precisely avoiding how I got here: no more being thrown into stuff. Seem easy? Maybe. Probably not.
I’ll get to that in a second, but first the back story.
Totally new site. Slightly new direction.
From here on, in addition to things I’ve been writing about before (like happiness & technology), I’ll also be writing about how I DIY (do it myself) in all things social good & online platform related, and posting more personal updates about my work/life.
And totally new: I’ll be creating members-only content! So 🤞to a new experiment.
Last spring, I got to spend a couple weeks in rural Ontario giving a few dozen (!) talks, assemblies, and shows at schools and organizations around the province. Every time I visit the Ontario countryside, I’m struck by how much it reminds me of my now-home state of Texas, in ways that are equal parts comfy (lots of hospitality) and uncomfy (lots of camouflage and usage of the word “lifestyle”). But this trip was different.
In years past, the ideas I was presenting (i.e., social justice and anti-oppression concepts, centered around gender) were mostly received as new. And the questions aligned with that. But this year, a lot of the questions I was hearing weren’t responding to what I was saying on stage, as much as they were addressing things that were already bouncing around students’ minds before I got there. I just became the first “spokesperson” for social justice they were able to confront IRL.
For example, in years past I got a lot of questions about things like “What do you mean gender and sexuality aren’t the same?” Or “What do you mean a woman can’t ‘oppress’ a man?”
But this year, a bunch of times (double digits) during Q&As I was asked something that amounted to “So gender is a social construct, and so is race, so why are we accepting of Caitlyn Jenner but not Rachel Dolezal?” By high schoolers. In rural Texas Ontario.
Hold that thought. I’ll return to it, but first I want to take a step back. Continue reading → “I can’t stop thinking about the “Social Justice Dogma,” or keeping quiet.”
I wish I never had to read another email.
This is something I’ve said thousands of times, aloud and in my head (mostly in my head). I’ve said it in anger after opening another death threat. I’ve said it in frustration when an email sent me down a rabbit hole that took me away from a project I had planned for the day. It’s been an underlying sentiment for years, but it wasn’t until recently that it turned into a concrete plan:
I am going to stop reading emails.
But how?Continue reading → “The Road Away From Email”