The Official Weblog of Internet Person Sam Killermann

vulnerability

Better Humaning

When Ambition is Hiding

Sometimes shooting for the moon isn't taking a shot at all.

When Ambition is Hiding

Consider a few alternatives. Let’s say I told you:

A. I want to remove every unhealthy habit, food, and mindset from my life, and I’m going to start tomorrow.

B. I’m going to eat less sugar, starting tomorrow.

When tomorrow comes, which one are you likely to hold me accountable to? Which might you help me excuse when I fall short? Which are you actually expecting me to do? Or even realistically try?

Let’s do a few more with those questions in mind.

I say:

A. It’s my goal to transform my country to 100% renewable energy.

B. It’s my goal to transform my local school district to 50% renewable energy.

Or:

A. My organization is going to end racism, globally.

B. My organization is going to help local people of color, and other disenfranchised people, register to vote and get to the polls.

That’s plenty to get the point I’m going to make, I think.

But first, here’s what I’m not about to say: that any of the As above — the lofty, admirable, pie-in-the-sky ambitions — are in any way bad, undesirable, or something I’m advocating against.

I want all of those things. I have, at different points in my life, said all of those things, in some way or another. And I don’t even like thinking of myself as ambitious.

Here’s all I want to point out: sometime we set the bar so high because it gives us an excuse when we can’t clear it.

Continue reading → “When Ambition is Hiding”
Work dot Com

Why I Hadn’t Funded My Work with Patreon

It's not just about a discomfort with money.

Why I Hadn’t Funded My Work with Patreon

For several years, my “day job” (the one paying my bills) has been performing comedy shows. Meanwhile, my hobby has been creating online resources, tools, and organizations for justice.

If you think that’s a weird combo, you’re not alone. I’m with you: it’s hard to wrap my mind around the truth that the way I make money is comedy, then I use that money to pay to do administrative-paperwork-email-non-profit-type stuff.

Usually, it’s the other way around.

What’s even weirder? Switching things up — and starting to fund my online advocacy work directly, not via comedy shows — seems less likely to succeed than continuing to be a working comedian.

And yes — I’ve heard of Patreon. People have told me about it hundreds of times, for years and years, every time I made that point.

A lot of the work I do is a great fit for Patreon. But I’ve been resistant to the idea of funding it that way. The reasons are a mix of ethics and personal discomforts, and are all tied directly to my work, and the change I hope it effects.

So why haven’t I done it?

Continue reading → “Why I Hadn’t Funded My Work with Patreon”
Updates

I’m terrified. I’m a professional performer, but in 90 minutes I’ll be sitting down to my first ever singing lesson.

Here are a few of the reasons why I'm scared.

I’m terrified. I’m a professional performer, but in 90 minutes I’ll be sitting down to my first ever singing lesson.

The lesson will be private. One-on-one. And the instructor, Mady, is, by all accounts, an incredibly delightful, non-intimidating person. I’ve performed on stages in front of 5000+ person crowds. I’ve spoken to hundreds of thousands of people around the US. I’ve done stand-up comedy on a stage in a country where the material I was performing could have landed me in jail, or worse.

So why am I so nervous about this?

Continue reading → “I’m terrified. I’m a professional performer, but in 90 minutes I’ll be sitting down to my first ever singing lesson.”